At the moment, my life feels turned upside down. A few stressors have been my dad’s death and getting sick. Not only am I suffering from TMJ, but I also have polyps on my vocal cords and am having difficulty speaking.
I miss my dad tremendously and when I want to talk or cry, I can’t because it hurts my throat. Now not talking wouldn't be so bad if my whole life- my job and identify- didn't revolve around being able to speak. I can’t coach or teach, and I'm scared to do permanent damage and not get my voice back. So I’ve been feeling a huge range of emotions, from sadness and depression to anger and rage to despondency and helplessness. On top of my personal challenges, I don't dare turn on on the TV because the chaos, greed, death, and destruction on the news makes me feel worse and more hopeless.
However, I believe (or at least am trying to) that we can transform our challenging situations into one of inner and outer peace. Everyday we wake up, we have a choice. A choice to feel hope, peace, happiness, and look for the good in the world, rather than choosing to feel sad, depressed, etc…
When things happen and issues or challenges become revealed, we have an opportunity to face them and then to choose another path. No more gloom and doom. This could be the sign we’ve been waiting for to make changes in our life for the better. Or in my case maybe a reminder to slow down and allow myself to take a break for a while rather than always going and pushing myself. We need to begin to understand that the outer chaos we experience merely represents our mental state. So if we can calm & quiet what's happening inside, then what’s happening outside will quiet too and hopefully we can find some peace.
Being able to keep the peace can be hard. I have a very hard time when things don’t go according to my plan. If you’re like me, when situations arise, I want to “fix” it immediately. I’ll spend sleepless nights trying to figure out what to do. Now certain things, like my dad dieing is unfixable and will take time for me to heal emotionally. Not being able to speak can’t just be fixed right away either, and will take time to physically heal. These unpredictable circumstances happen on the regular and are beyond our control; so we need to come up with ways to help ourselves when we feel off balance or out of control.
So how can we do this? These ideas may help:
Thoughts have power:
Begin to visualize good things. When you're feeling chaotic, try to calm the mind, think good thoughts, and envision the outcome you’d like to see. Start imagining yourself happy, healthy, safe, and loved. Hold onto those good vibes.
Words have power:
Train your subconscious brain to have a different belief system. Wishful thinking doesn’t help, but repeated helpful affirmations or mantras do. Mantras when repeated many times throughout the day start to become your inner truth and will help change your subconscious mind.
Some examples of my favorite mantras include: I am enough, It's a great day to be alive, & you are the sky, everything else is the weather. Always remember, words have power.
Feelings have power:
In order for us to transcend our situation and create more peace in our lives, we have got to feel it and the best way to do that is have faith. Having faith means that everything will be ok.
To have faith, we must believe with conviction that everything will be okay, even if we can’t currently see exactly how.
Action is power:
Keep your eyes and heart focused on how you can add value to the world each day. Think about your life’s purpose, why are you here? Think about the gift you have to offer the world. In moments of chaos, remember your purpose and stick with it. What you do is part of you, so trust it, it’s who and what you are. When I know I have helped someone for the better and contributed value to the world each day, I feel centered, grounded, and at ease. Action is power.
Meditate for 10 to 20 Minutes per day:
Meditating can be done is so many ways. I highly recommend guided meditations to start. But even sitting in nature or focusing on peace or doing deep breathing helps ground you tremendously so that you feel calmer and less stressed, which in turn has a positive effect on those around you. Meditation can be powerful. Checkout a previous Meditation blog to learn more.
Written by: Keri Mandell